Unforgettable...

I didn't want to go... I had made up all these excuses in my head: 'We have to get up too early', 'It's just too darn far', 'It's not worth the effort', 'It's the driver's day off', 'We have to take a damn taxi'. In spite of all these brilliant reasons not to go... we went.

The House of Dawn in the Bian Village, Ning Jin County, Hebei Province. The middle of nowhere, 4 hours from central Beijing, with traffic it took 5. The House of Dawn is an orphanage for mentally and physically handicapped children, Nantang (The South Cathedral) Agape Society - had organized a visit so the parishioners could bring a spot of cheer to these kids. They had the audacity to organize the trip on a Saturday, with a start time of 7am, what an utter waste of one of my precious 'sleep-in' mornings.

All-in-all 50 parishioners signed up for the trip, we were reminded to bring some staples along to donate to the orphanage, Mei filled an Ikea bag with shampoo, soap, biscuits and other snacks... I complained it was heavy.

6.00am, Saturday morning, the taxi arrived on time (rare in China), we arrived at Nantang half an hour early... I was sleepy and grumpy, I could have slept an extra half-an-hour for goodness sake. By 7.15am we had loaded up the coach and we're on our way, it was packed and it was lively, made livelier by a loud Australian bloke who insisted on teaching several locals the famous 'Aussie, Aussie, Aussie, Oi, Oi, Oi' chant... he was loud and obnoxious, a typical Australian prick, how the hell was he going to bring joy and laughter to a bunch of handicapped Chinese kids? I asked myself that question all the way there.

Lively ride...

11.45am We reached the Bian village, it had been a smooth journey but it took longer then expected. We were told we had the park the coach at the village edge and walk down the main street of Bian to the orphanage... great. The Bian village isn't really a village, its a collective of badly made brick buildings in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by farmland, growing some unidentifiable green crop. The road leading into the village was narrow, made of dirt and mud, on both sides grew the unidentifiable green crop and the whole area smelled of shit... manure to be precise. I thought to myself what a Godforsaken place, what the heck are we doing here.

The road in...

As we entered the town, it starts to hit you... you've seen it on TV, you've read about it in the papers, but none of that smacks you in-the-face till you experience it first hand - poverty. We were in the middle of China's bread basket, these were farmers and they were poor... Not: living in a three room HDB, still using a CRT TV, taking a bus to work poor. No, this kind of poverty is the sort where you spend 60% of your income feeding your family, where you work from dawn till dusk in a crop field, where you live in a brick shack with a tin roof... it is beyond our comprehension.

Entering Bian village

The flashiest car on Main street...

As we passed through the village we see the locals peddling their goods, everything on sale is functional or edible, there is no need for fashion or flash - that's for the city folk. Here it's about eking out a living so you can survive, here quality of life is defined as being alive - nothing more and nothing less. You sleep, so you can work, so you can eat, so you can live, it's that simple. Break this fragile cycle and you die.

Old man selling his wares...

The village hair salon...

Another old man selling veggies...

Fruits of the day...

12.00pm It's was an eye opening walk through the village, we finally arrived at the front gate of the House of Dawn. It looked nothing like it's name, it looked like a Dickensian prison.

The House of Dawn

The playground...

They still use coal to heat the place...

I was reluctant to come on this trip, citing many reasons not to, all the way through the Godforsaken village and even at the gates to the House of Dawn I was wondering why I came. And then the mysterious hand of God smacks you again, this time it's around the top of my head near my right ear... SMACK.

You see the kids and you know why you made this journey.

The older ones are the first to come running out to greet you, the younger ones are carried by several of 11 selfless nuns that run the orphanage. These children are happy, you coming to see them has made their day, these wonderful kids want nothing from you except your time and perhaps... a little love.

Most of them have been abandoned by their parents. I know what you're thinking and it's so easy to find fault and blame the parents for such unimaginable behavior. It's easy sit on a high horse and pontificate our First World values but a handicapped child, in the best-of-situations, isn't easy to care for... when you're a subsistence farmer in a Third World country it's plain impossible. The amount of time and money spent just tips the balancing act to far, remember break that fragile cycle and you die.

Whatever misgivings I had about coming have disappeared, I wasn't here to bring joy to these kids, it was the total opposite, these raggedy-dressed urchins brought immense joy to Mei and me. They were afflicted with different ailments and handicapped to different degrees, but in, what I thought was a Godforsaken place, you found nothing but God's love and these kids gave you love in bunches. They screamed with laughter, they grunted with joy, they flailed there arms with excitement, they hugged you and you hugged them. Some of the other parishioners started playing with the kids, some watched with tears in their eyes, but all of us were equally moved... And that crazy Australian bloke? He was amazing, he screamed, he jumped around animatedly and played with the kids like there was no tomorrow, he didn't need to speak Chinese to get to these kids, he did all his talking with his heart and his actions... and boy was he good.

Tian KeKe
We met a very special boy in the nursery. A couple of weeks earlier, while at the Nantang, Mei and I had seen a presentation on the orphanage, we were very moved and decided to sponsor a child. The wonderful nuns of the orphanage chose a little boy for us... Tian KeKe. Just slightly over a year old, he suffers from severe epilepsy and is brain damaged. He will never be able to speak or comprehend what is going on around him and is heavily medicated three times a day, even with his afflictions he has the disposition of an angel.

Mei and KeKe...

For only 3600rmb a year we get the privilege of sponsoring and helping this little angel, that's about S$700 a year... S$60 a month. This pays for his room and board, his medication, it gives him a decent chance at life because, in truth, he probably doesn't have all that long. Mei and I shall sponsor him for as long as he needs us to, that is our small commitment to this special, special child. And there are many more like him, we saw a beautiful little one suffering from a brain tumor, the top of her head just wasn't there and neither was her nose, but she was so happy. There were older kids too, some in their 20s but with the mental capacity and innocence of small children, some could walk, some in makeshift wheelchairs - all happy.

2.30pm We were ushered in the chapel, here the kids wanted to show their appreciation to us for coming all the way here - imagine that, they appreciated us? Talk about the tail wagging the dog. They put on a wonderful show, not for it's production quality but for the sheer effort and dedication these kids exhibited, it was clear they had practiced and rehearsed many times. Imagine 3 young girls with Downs syndrome, trying to sing in tune and dance in synch, several teenage boys in wheel chairs trying to sing - forcing the words out with considerable effort, or an amazing girl with no arms and legs folding an origami crane with her mouth. At this point, the day had really gotten to me and I needed to get a little fresh air, Mei was a trooper she stayed throughout the show with little KeKe sleeping on her.

Mei and a sleeping angel...

I needed a few minutes to compose myself, the day had been an emotional roller coaster, show me a person who was wasn't touched and I'll show you a corpse. I came back in just in time to hear a sixteen year old girl recite a poem, it was beautifully written and thankfully, translated, but what truly got to me was her ending where she asked everyone in the audience a simple question... "after today, will you forget us?"

After the show, there was time for a shortened Mass. The visiting Priests went off into the Sacristy to ready themselves, we didn't realize it but several Priests had been traveling with us. We found out later, in China most Catholic Priests, local or foreign, travel incognito to avoid the scrutiny of the State. As they filed out of the Sacristy and headed to the altar, everyone's jaw dropped when they saw the crazy Australian bloke dressed in vestments and was part of the contingent of Priests... Till this day, I am thankful I didn't say anything mean to him while on the coach.

4.00pm And just like that it was time to go. Four hours went by in a blink, we had enough time to unload all the stores and supplies we had brought to the orphanage and to take a group photograph.

The House of Dawn visit... crazy Aussie Priest, second from left

As I shuffled onto the coach emotionally spent, I couldn't help but ask: How do you leave these kids behind? Especially when you know you only had a tiny taste of what they will face the rest of their lives. We go back on an air conditioned coach to our cars, jobs and condominiums, our comfortable First World lives and these kids are left behind. I don't pretend to have an answer, I can only surmise that God put these kids on this earth for a reason, perhaps they are put here so that we - the more fortunate - are given an opportunity to help them - the less. At the end of the day isn't our humanity defined by how we treat the weakest amongst us? I'm not prone to quoting scripture, but emails from the Nantang Agape Society always end with this verse from the Book of Matthew which I found rather apt:

"Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me" Matthew 25:40

I apologize for writing such a long blog entry, but I did it for selfish reasons, I wrote it for myself. At the end of the day my words cannot do justice to the emotional experience Mei and I had, like our trip to the orphanage it can only give you a small taste of what it was like. So why did I write about this trip in as much detail as I could? Because I remember that sixteen year old girl and her poem, I remember what she asked: "After today, will you forget us?"

I wrote this so I will never forget them.