...isn't easy on Planet Japan.
Well, another weekend taking the train to nowhere. Mei, Nicole and I are in agreement... we need a car. While Tokyo is easy enough to get around using public transport, it's not very convenient, especially if you live 15 minutes walk from the station. It's hard to buy groceries in bulk, or any large items and you really are restricted to going places where there's a train stop. Enough is enough, time to get a car.
Through a colleague's recommendation I went to see the guys at Autodirect. I'm used to buying cars the old fashioned way, head down to the dealership, check out the car I like, test drive, put a down payment, get financing, etc.
Ahh, but this is Planet Japan, things are done differently. Before even going down to the dealership I was advised to head on over to the Singapore embassy to get a 'signature certificate'. I believe this document is to prove that your signature is real? Anyhoo... got the certificate. Went down to the dealership, which doesn't actually have any cars... ok, I lied, it had 2 second hand Porsches. That's it. No car lot, nothing to see. On Planet Japan you tell the dealer what car you want and he then looks for it... okie.
But before he looks for it, he needs to get financing approval. This involves a world war two interrogation (without the physical toture), irrelevant questions like 'how many kids do you have?' and 'how old?'. I presume they need to know incase my 5 year old wants to take the car out for a late night supper run...
Sigh, you can see where this is going... nowhere fast.
Interrogation done, financing approved, power of attorney signed, now one needs to prove that they have a parking lot to park your car. This step involves the police (men in black), thankfully the dealer said he will deal with it... I don't want to know, nor care how he does it.
And this is as far as I have gotten... the easy part. The pain awaits and I can only ask for your prayers.
Monday, March 3, 2008
Monday, February 25, 2008
You know you're getting used to living on Planet Japan when...
...you can keep peeing when the cleaning lady comes into the gents.
...you can keep peeing and greet her 'konichiwa' when she's cleaning the urinal next to yours.
...you pay US$80 for a lousy meal without even blinking.
...you automatically stand on your left when you get on the escalator.
...you expect the toilet seat to be warm when you sit on it.
...you can spritz and blow dry your ass after a dump.
...you can take a taxi home, without showing the cabby a map.
...you can sit through a 2 hour meeting without yawning.
...you can sit through the same meeting with only one cup of coffee.
...you can sit through the same meeting without wondering how they lost the war.
...you actually ask others 'what do you think?'
...you get excited at any TV program televised in english.
...you can order a complete meal just by pointing at pictures.
...you think lunch at a Sizzler is the highlight of your week.
...you can watch the NBA on TV with japanese commentary and not find it strange.
...you worry about earthquakes, typhoons and godzilla attacks.
...you actually believe ultraman will save you from godzilla attacks.
...you have to keep a blog to keep your sanity.
...you can keep peeing and greet her 'konichiwa' when she's cleaning the urinal next to yours.
...you pay US$80 for a lousy meal without even blinking.
...you automatically stand on your left when you get on the escalator.
...you expect the toilet seat to be warm when you sit on it.
...you can spritz and blow dry your ass after a dump.
...you can take a taxi home, without showing the cabby a map.
...you can sit through a 2 hour meeting without yawning.
...you can sit through the same meeting with only one cup of coffee.
...you can sit through the same meeting without wondering how they lost the war.
...you actually ask others 'what do you think?'
...you get excited at any TV program televised in english.
...you can order a complete meal just by pointing at pictures.
...you think lunch at a Sizzler is the highlight of your week.
...you can watch the NBA on TV with japanese commentary and not find it strange.
...you worry about earthquakes, typhoons and godzilla attacks.
...you actually believe ultraman will save you from godzilla attacks.
...you have to keep a blog to keep your sanity.
Mei & Nicole manga style
Over the weekend we went to a shopping mall in Odaiba, 10 minutes and ¥2800 later, Manga style Mei & Nicole...
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Busy Week
Well the honeymoon is officially over, it's been a really busy week at work and it's only thursday... a couple of highlights stick out.
ONE
Trying to sell dandruff shampoo without saying it's for dandruff. On planet Japan people don't get dandruff or itchy scalps, even if they did, they would rather commit seppuku then admit it. On planet Japan, Head & Shoulders is known as Hair & Skin... I shit you not. It's a grooming regiment for making your hair shiny and healthy by treating your scalp.
Stupid me, I always thought the best way to sell an apple was to call it an apple. Here you have to call it an orange.
TWO
When is an ad not an ad? When you present it to a Japanese client.
I have a client presentation today where we have to present an ad concept... but to make it a little more challenging, we can't present it in an ad LAYOUT.
Why? I asked.
'Client doesn't want it in an ad layout.'
Why not? I asked, with a gentle smile.
'Because if its in an ad layout other departments need to get involved.'
Who will get involved? I asked pleasantly.
'Advertising department... '
So we need to present ad concepts but can't lay it out like an ad? I asked with a large smile.
'Hai'
But all the work has been done and we are being told this at the eleventh hour. I grimaced.
'Hai, client request...'
Ok, this isn't an ad layout, this is a poster layout. I said, gritting my teeth.
'Ahhh so! Hai!'
Are you serious, the client will buy that? I asked, while tears began to well in my eyes.
'Hai'
Welcome to Planet Japan.
ONE
Trying to sell dandruff shampoo without saying it's for dandruff. On planet Japan people don't get dandruff or itchy scalps, even if they did, they would rather commit seppuku then admit it. On planet Japan, Head & Shoulders is known as Hair & Skin... I shit you not. It's a grooming regiment for making your hair shiny and healthy by treating your scalp.
Stupid me, I always thought the best way to sell an apple was to call it an apple. Here you have to call it an orange.
TWO
When is an ad not an ad? When you present it to a Japanese client.
I have a client presentation today where we have to present an ad concept... but to make it a little more challenging, we can't present it in an ad LAYOUT.
Why? I asked.
'Client doesn't want it in an ad layout.'
Why not? I asked, with a gentle smile.
'Because if its in an ad layout other departments need to get involved.'
Who will get involved? I asked pleasantly.
'Advertising department... '
So we need to present ad concepts but can't lay it out like an ad? I asked with a large smile.
'Hai'
But all the work has been done and we are being told this at the eleventh hour. I grimaced.
'Hai, client request...'
Ok, this isn't an ad layout, this is a poster layout. I said, gritting my teeth.
'Ahhh so! Hai!'
Are you serious, the client will buy that? I asked, while tears began to well in my eyes.
'Hai'
Welcome to Planet Japan.
Monday, February 18, 2008
Jiyugaoka
Nice little village with tons to see...
The Barkery
One for Vida and Vito...
A car named Ed...
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Barking Mad
Another weekend, another trip around Tokyo. This past weekend was a long one, the Japanese government tries to arrange holidays on mondays so the citizens (and aliens) can have a long weekend... sometimes, ya gotta love this country.
So being a car'less' family we took the train to Jiyugaoka to meet my ex-boss Anthony and his boyfriend Harwin, at their invitation, for lunch around their neck-of-the-woods.
I must say Mei and I were very impressed with Jiyugaoka, while still (technically) in central Tokyo, it didn't have that big city feel. Instead it felt like a little village with plenty of wonderful nooks and crannies for one to explore, heck, the train tracks run right through the middle of town. Fashionable and trendy, but down-to-earth at the same time, Jiyugaoka is a contrast of the new and old, little mom & pop shops selling kitchenware next to a GAP... but yet, strangely enough, it works.
Anthony and Harwin brought us for lunch at a little Italian bistro featuring an appetizer buffet/viking with your choice of entree (buffets here are called viking, weird huh? the Japanese must think the Nordic tribes of yore feasted on buffets). It was a lovely day, so we sat alfresco in the basement patio, taking in the cool air and hint of sunshine. The food was good, but the portions small, especially if your daughter decides to help herself to half your entree...
After lunch we took a quick walk around Jiyugaoka, it certainly merits a more leisurely visit. When we go there again, I will post some pictures.
One shop of interest was The Barkery. From the outside it looked like a little pink pâtisserie... on closer inspection, one notices little outfits hanging on little racks, perhaps a child's outfitter, a store for 'little people'? Nope... dog clothes. And at the far end of the shop on the back wall, little windows with cute little poodle pooches barking their little heads off... hence The Barkery.
Cost of a pudgy petite poodle pooch? ¥800,000... that's US$8000. For that price, they throw in puffy pink polyester poodle pooch pyjamas.
Barking mad... I'd say.
So being a car'less' family we took the train to Jiyugaoka to meet my ex-boss Anthony and his boyfriend Harwin, at their invitation, for lunch around their neck-of-the-woods.
I must say Mei and I were very impressed with Jiyugaoka, while still (technically) in central Tokyo, it didn't have that big city feel. Instead it felt like a little village with plenty of wonderful nooks and crannies for one to explore, heck, the train tracks run right through the middle of town. Fashionable and trendy, but down-to-earth at the same time, Jiyugaoka is a contrast of the new and old, little mom & pop shops selling kitchenware next to a GAP... but yet, strangely enough, it works.
Anthony and Harwin brought us for lunch at a little Italian bistro featuring an appetizer buffet/viking with your choice of entree (buffets here are called viking, weird huh? the Japanese must think the Nordic tribes of yore feasted on buffets). It was a lovely day, so we sat alfresco in the basement patio, taking in the cool air and hint of sunshine. The food was good, but the portions small, especially if your daughter decides to help herself to half your entree...
After lunch we took a quick walk around Jiyugaoka, it certainly merits a more leisurely visit. When we go there again, I will post some pictures.
One shop of interest was The Barkery. From the outside it looked like a little pink pâtisserie... on closer inspection, one notices little outfits hanging on little racks, perhaps a child's outfitter, a store for 'little people'? Nope... dog clothes. And at the far end of the shop on the back wall, little windows with cute little poodle pooches barking their little heads off... hence The Barkery.
Cost of a pudgy petite poodle pooch? ¥800,000... that's US$8000. For that price, they throw in puffy pink polyester poodle pooch pyjamas.
Barking mad... I'd say.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Monday, February 4, 2008
Jasmine Rice
As usual weekends are spent looking for household necessities, this past weekend we made a trip down to the port city of Yokohama.
Why travel all the way down to Yokohama, I hear you ask, only for one reason, to look for that ever elusive grain - Jasmine rice. You see, Yokohama has the largest Chinatown in Japan and Jasmine (long grain thai grade) rice is as rare in Tokyo as warts on a Barbie Princess' face. To us Singaporeans, rice isn't rice unless it's jasmine rice (well at least for me). Japanese short grain, sticky rice is a poor second and it's getting on my nerves...
So off we went, empty backpack in tow, hoping to fill it up with chinese goodies. As it turns out, getting to Yokohama was easy as pie, and the walk from the station to Chinatown took only 15 minutes. The weather was cold, but the sun was out. It looked to be a beautiful day.
Barbies at the Gate
Yokohama Chinatown is basically a loud, garish reproduction of a B-grade chinese movie set. Every corny icon of chinese culture is crammed into a space no bigger then 2 football fields. Char siew paos are sold, steaming hot, from almost every shop. It is an assault on the senses especially on the eyes and ears, ironically everything is in Japanese... go figure.
Grabbing a quick lunch at a hole-in-the-wall establishment, I looked forward to satiating my need for fresh char siew. Mei and Nicole had cold chicken rice (sticky rice... sigh) and I ordered a bowl of char siew noodles. It was nothing like what we get at home, it was awful. This only fueled the need to find my JASMINE RICE.
¥6000 lighter and decidedly unsatisfied we decided to explore the alleyways that branched from the main Chinatown street. Small mom & pop shops revealed themselves through the visual carnage and it looked like our luck was turning. Dried scallops, har mai, foo pei, salted prunes, even egg noodles appeared before us. And then... there it was... glowing in a dark corner of a small shop, a ray of sunlight bouncing off it's beautiful packaging, it was calling my name as I approached, it had to be... it was. 5 kilograms of grade A, long grain, Thai Jasmine rice. Heaven on earth. We had found our pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, I swear 'too much heaven' by the bee gees began to play... I grabbed the pack lovingly, cradling it in my arms I carefully carried it to the counter and with a big smile asked - How much?
¥3000! ARE YOU INSANE! THAT'S 30 US DOLLARS... FOR A PACK OF FRIGGIN' RICE!!
The old japanese lady, sitting coyly behind the counter, shrugged and looked at me with the 'you-want-this-shit-you-pay-for-it-you-dumb-gaijin' look. Grudgingly, I paid and stuffed the rice into my backpack.
That night, Mei whipped up a deliciously authentic chinese dinner with ingredients from the wonderful carepack we received the day before from my mother-in-law (filled with singapore spices and sauces! Thanks Mum!). It was a wonderful taste of home.
And I enjoyed every last grain of the most expensive bowl of rice I have ever had...
Why travel all the way down to Yokohama, I hear you ask, only for one reason, to look for that ever elusive grain - Jasmine rice. You see, Yokohama has the largest Chinatown in Japan and Jasmine (long grain thai grade) rice is as rare in Tokyo as warts on a Barbie Princess' face. To us Singaporeans, rice isn't rice unless it's jasmine rice (well at least for me). Japanese short grain, sticky rice is a poor second and it's getting on my nerves...
So off we went, empty backpack in tow, hoping to fill it up with chinese goodies. As it turns out, getting to Yokohama was easy as pie, and the walk from the station to Chinatown took only 15 minutes. The weather was cold, but the sun was out. It looked to be a beautiful day.
Barbies at the GateYokohama Chinatown is basically a loud, garish reproduction of a B-grade chinese movie set. Every corny icon of chinese culture is crammed into a space no bigger then 2 football fields. Char siew paos are sold, steaming hot, from almost every shop. It is an assault on the senses especially on the eyes and ears, ironically everything is in Japanese... go figure.
Grabbing a quick lunch at a hole-in-the-wall establishment, I looked forward to satiating my need for fresh char siew. Mei and Nicole had cold chicken rice (sticky rice... sigh) and I ordered a bowl of char siew noodles. It was nothing like what we get at home, it was awful. This only fueled the need to find my JASMINE RICE.
¥6000 lighter and decidedly unsatisfied we decided to explore the alleyways that branched from the main Chinatown street. Small mom & pop shops revealed themselves through the visual carnage and it looked like our luck was turning. Dried scallops, har mai, foo pei, salted prunes, even egg noodles appeared before us. And then... there it was... glowing in a dark corner of a small shop, a ray of sunlight bouncing off it's beautiful packaging, it was calling my name as I approached, it had to be... it was. 5 kilograms of grade A, long grain, Thai Jasmine rice. Heaven on earth. We had found our pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, I swear 'too much heaven' by the bee gees began to play... I grabbed the pack lovingly, cradling it in my arms I carefully carried it to the counter and with a big smile asked - How much?
¥3000! ARE YOU INSANE! THAT'S 30 US DOLLARS... FOR A PACK OF FRIGGIN' RICE!!
The old japanese lady, sitting coyly behind the counter, shrugged and looked at me with the 'you-want-this-shit-you-pay-for-it-you-dumb-gaijin' look. Grudgingly, I paid and stuffed the rice into my backpack.
That night, Mei whipped up a deliciously authentic chinese dinner with ingredients from the wonderful carepack we received the day before from my mother-in-law (filled with singapore spices and sauces! Thanks Mum!). It was a wonderful taste of home.
And I enjoyed every last grain of the most expensive bowl of rice I have ever had...
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